Prince of Heart, Destroyer of souls

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affablematriarch started following you



Why hello there. You caught me at a great time, as I happen to be just becoming active again.

Make yourself at home if you wish. I try to be entertaining, but a friend of mine always says I’m the party pooper of the group.

party pooper man that sounds kind of harsh im sure youre fun. howre you?

I try, bro, I try.

I’m doing well. The last two weeks have been very busy and slightly stressing, but rewarding, so you could reason that makes up for it. How about yourself?

(via affablematriarch-deactivated201)

3,435 notes

get this—






the ar is speaking literally when he says “oceans will rise. cities will fall,” and so is dirk when he describes things as “antediluvian”

because dirk and roxy live in the future

in a dystopian waterworld openly ruled by the condesce

thats why dirk’s apartment is infested with seagulls and the environment outside roxy’s house is “unsuitable for a burial”

thats why they’ve been throwing around alternian terms like “wiggling day” and “pale friend”, which jane and jake don’t understand

thats why they have access to crockercorp appearification tech but the heiress to the company only gets a shitty gristwidget

and why dirk says the sbahj movies “will have profound historical significance,” and asks roxy if she’s “ever peeked in a history book”

it’s what dirk’s alluding to here:

TT: It just registers for me as a reaction which isn’t completely unreasonable from her perspective.
TT: She is inundated with media coverage of those whom we’ve claimed as our parental figures.
TT: That they are not presently alive nor ever played that role for us as she understands it is just an extension of a much more elaborate and far reaching explanation, which is much harder for anyone to digest in its entirety.

( from jane’s perspective, rose and dave are still alive )

— and roxy here:

TG: you forget we live in very different time zones
TG: its a lot later here
GG: You’re three hours ahead of me!
TG: youd would be amazed
TG: how much can happen
TG: in 3 hours

UU says it explicitly:

GG: I’m really hoping Lalonde won’t flake out on me this time. Have you heard from her?
UU: not the today that is local to yoU.

while the narrator jokes about it:

You are now Roxy. What were you up to again? You were floating somewhere in the nonlinear timestew of paradox space, and we were hoping to get a handle on the exact chronology of your situation.
You are now Dirk. What the hell was going on here again? That’s right. You were lodged in the bulbous cleft of paradox space’s huge foam ass, and we were hoping to trouble you for a bit of context. Something to set our watches to, if you’d be so kind.

… the mundane alternative, of course, is that jane and jake have led such sheltered lives that they simply don’t know that the world is ruled by a “cake sellin genocidal alien overlard sea queen”.

but p.s.

a world-sundering flood might be labelled blue fathoms

reblogging because they called it.



Congratulations, sir. You called it.

are you a wizard?

(via gonnaslapaboo)

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Oh my fucking god.

Had to go to Home Depot, so I brought Jake because why the fuck not.

Worst. Decision. Of my life.

He’s going ape shit over the lawnmowers and weed wackers and chainsaws and pretty much everything else like it’s fucking christmas.

I should have grabbed the garbage can that I came here for AFTER he calmed the fuck down.

I’ve been wheeling this thing around the goddamn store for the last 25 minutes and the employees and other shoppers are looking at me like I’m fucking retarded.

Filed under liveblogging with jake this is actually happening he is legitimately flipping his shit

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Just sitting here watching events unfold on this website before my eyes has caused me to realize just how strange, unique, and wonderful some people truely are.

It also made realize that just sitting here makes me seem sort of like a stalker…